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Posts by septicman

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Just read the list of finalists, and I'm so angry about number 6

in reply to Nick Burridge:

Ha! It's all good mate. Was fun stirring things up a bit on the oddly quiet forums!

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

City Finalists discussion thread

I'd like to offer a huge CONGRATULATIONS to all the finalists this year. Well done!

Three films from our heat made it in; I thought we were up against some stiff competition.

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Just read the list of finalists, and I'm so angry about number 6

LOL, is actually clickbait.

But srsly, where are the finalists? I've already tied my noose ready for suicide, and my legs are hurting standing on this stool...

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Shorter shorts = better shorts?

in reply to Jason:

Jason, we got Dystopian also, and we struggled with the five minute limit more than we thought we might have. Dystopian requires a fair bit of exposition, I believe...

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

REVIEWS: Heat 2, Auckland

in reply to Nick Burridge:

Nick, is that because you suffer PTSD from Graduate Massacre? ;-)

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

REVIEWS: Heat 2, Auckland

Big thanks to the venerable Joey from Prime Rib for his comments:

Stoked to see Bald Faced Cheek back, and they've lost none of their ridiculous, faux-serious, Naked Gun-esque charm. The pull back and reveal at the beginning was brilliant. Great parody of Terminator style

I couldn't ask for a better word than 'ridiculous' :-)

Agree with lots of what you've said in your reviews, too, but also these:

- shit me production values are up
- I wish there was a little more pageantry to the heats

Hell yes, production values are through the roof. But our team too felt a bit cold with regards the get in, get out nature of the heats. Perhaps it's just that the comp is so much bigger, with logistically so much more to do that it's unavoidably lost much of its boutique charm, but I too hark back to the days when you felt like a superstar at the heats, let alone the finals.

Not one to criticise, but I'll lend my voice to the call for considering an MC at the heats where possible.

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

REVIEWS: Heat 2, Auckland

boom on a pole
One Location
A straightforward film about a simmering romance in an office, hampered by an oafish boss who makes the hero's life difficult. We see a girl googling questions about "does he like you if he makes you coffee" and the like, whilst the boy seems committed to perfecting "The Perfect Grind", which is the film's name.

This film had some pluck, but I found myself getting a bit disinterested as it wore on. There were some confusing action elements thrown in (some Matrix-style slomo effects for example) and the boss character seemed a bit bemusing, but the film's climax was like a slap in the face. It was as if boom on a pole thought to themselves "You know what? Fuck this shit!" and ended the film abruptly, but like a boss. One of the bigger laughs of the night.

6/10


Braid the Wife's Fur
Punk
I have to say, I would have been disappointed to get this genre. It could certainly be fun, but my concern is that the same elements will get used over and over again, and it'd be hard to differentiate your film from the others.

That said, Braid the Wife's Fur (great name) have done about as well as I think could be expected with it, and delivered a film that looked good, didn't drag, and gave an eerily accurate depiction of the Auckland punk ethos that at least I'm familiar with ("Now we're gonna get fucked uuuuppp!")

The premise is that two punks get a new flatmate, who is way too thoughtful and also a clean freak. Of course, cleaning goes against the punk lifestyle, as they ironically explain through the use of rules (just after asserting that punk is all about rebelling).

Of course, things don't work out well, resulting in some delicious eye twitching from the new flatmate and a Prodigy-style tongue-flap from one of the punk characters that had me in stitches.

A good-looking film that did what it said on the box.

7/10

Brothers In Crime
Puppet
It's always interesting to see what a good location can do for a film, and this film was shot somewhere rural (I think) with a big teepee and greenhouses and a picturesque bridge over a creek. Combined with a good level of production quality, I found this to be a visually very enjoyable film.

I haven't seen a great deal of puppet films (my favourite though will remain the film from 2005 where the director had all her actors bail and she shot her genre entirely using kumara) but I feel that the approach used here is likely not the standard. Instead of the puppets being characters, they're props for a bigger, human-centric story.

The premise is that a bloke has decided to style himself as a viking-esque puppet hunter, saving the world from hand puppets, which he clearly considers an abomination upon God's Green Earth.

A mockumentary-styled piece, it was endearing and fun. The characters were varied and had depth, and the ending was hilarious. It didn't drag, either, which is a big thing for me; some films have the ability to make five minutes seem like a lifetime.

7/10


Busted Satellite Films
Real Time
Sadly, this film was the worst of the night for me; it felt like it was in an entirely different class from the others, featuring poor sound, a complete absence of story, characters that might as well have been cardboard cutouts, and an absolute miss on the genre.

The premise was... well, uh... I'm not sure? Two women have a fight in an office? At Christmas time? That's about the best I can give you.

I never like to say bad things about someone's film, but I can imagine that it would've been clear to the team that comparably, they fell short.

2/10


Chess Club
Rom Com
Last year's deserved winners served up a slick piece about a guy and a girl whose first date goes well, but everything hinges on what's said in the follow-up text.

Chess Club clearly know what they're doing; their actors are good, their production is great, and I for one enjoyed the premise (alternate realities based on the contents of the text). If I had any one criticism, though, it's that I couldn't help but feel I'd just watched a TV commercial at the end of it?

Remember that I said earlier that I have a preference for lo-fi, though, and whilst I wouldn't call this one of my favourites of the heat, it's probably one of the two contenders I could see heading through to the finals.

7/10


Chillybox
Time Travel
That other contender for the finals? It'd be this one. This film could've qualified as a one-location genre, as it's set purely in one room, a travel agent's for time travellers. "Hello? Yes, we're on the Titanic, and we were hoping to leave just before the iceberg, but my wife's gotten ill from some dicky caviar, and I was hoping you'd be able to reschedule..."

I liked the dialogue, I liked the acting, and I liked the premise. This was probably the most mature film of the night (just as ours would've been the least) and it was a testament to what you can achieve with smart writing and good actors.

A pithy and rewarding ending left a good taste in the mouth as the film closed off the heat, and I suspect this won't be the last we hear of either this film or this team.

8/10

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

REVIEWS: Heat 2, Auckland

in reply to septicman:

These are my personal reviews, and I like to preface my reviews with the following important caveat:

If you made a film for this competition, you're awesome. Reviews are just the opinion of some gimp on the interwebs, and should be viewed as such. If a reviewer is polite and constructive, try not to get butthurt if they didn't like your film; take it onboard for your next one, or, if you disagree, offer a polite rebuttal.


Autopilot Films
Cat & Mouse

First up in the heat, and I'm never sure if this is a good thing or a bad one. The good is that you've got nothing to live up to (unlike following a clearly awesome film with yours that was filmed on a potato) but the bad is that you can be long forgotten by the time it comes to fill in the voting forms.

This film set the bar high in terms of production value, however, so it certainly wouldn't have had to worry about following on from anything else. I was impressed simply by the number of shots in the film, let alone anything else.

The premise was that of a night cleaner (the title of the film was 'A Messy Night' I believe) in a commercial office who finds increasing numbers of potato chips littering the just-cleaned floor, put there by persons unknown.

I really liked the concept, and I felt it was well-executed. The photography was faultless (I think it was one of the better-looking films of the evening) and perhaps the only criticisms I might have are that [1] it lacked warmth (there was almost no dialogue, and it's a pretty hard ask to make engaging characters if they hardly speak) and [2] whenever someone did speak, they were very hard to hear (seemed like an in-camera mic).

7/10


Awesome Bananas
Comedy of Errors

Next up was a comedy of errors from Awesome Bananas. The premise was that Charlie Flowers was quite the party animal (the film may have been called "No party without Charlie", perhaps?) and a bunch of people were sitting around reminiscing about the night before and all the zany antics that Charlie got up to.

I have to say that I didn't really feel this film hit its genre squarely, and its reliance on the party flashbacks (plus the large number of people on screen) meant that it wasn't possible to connect with any one character. The upshot was that it just felt a bit chaotic. Is that a comedy of errors, you could argue? Hmm.

I also felt that playing almost the entire film in reverse right before the climax was a bit unnecessary (dare I say it felt like filler?) but I could see what they were aiming for.

Not a bad effort, but not one of the standouts of the evening.

5/10


Bacon vs Lollipop
Crime
Bacon vs Lollipop is one of this year's many school teams (in this case, Diocesan Girls) and I think they did very well.

The setting was the election of the school's Head Girl, and set in the school itself. I thought this was a great way to make a film for a school team, because it's so very relevant to both the filmmakers and their peers.

The requisite plot devices were present and nicely utilised (heinous crimes, many potential suspects, gruesome murder depictions and clever methods of execution) and the twist was satisfying.

Indicative of its successful delivery was the fact that the younger members of our team enjoyed it and were able to quote parts of the dialogue during our journey home.

All in all, a really good effort.

7/10


Bald Faced Cheek
Dystopian
This was our film, so I can't review it. Feel free to roundly insult it in your own reviews, however!


Beat Down
Horror
The only disqualified film of our heat was Beat Down's horror offering. I've seen a lot of horrors in 48HOURS over the years, and if nothing else, I feel that this film actually had what horror is all about at its heart. However, the execution felt muddled to me. I couldn't really tell you what happened in the story?

It started out with two policeman escorting an obnoxious criminal in a car, who convinces them he needs to relieve himself then does a bunk. The police knock on the door of a local house, and one of them seems to know the homeowner (though I don't know how). Meanwhile, the criminal meets a grisly end in a nearby barn, which contains at least one other body (possibly more).

However, the story then gets bewildering, introducing more characters (none of which were particularly endearing) and frenetically charges towards a Blair Witch style climax that, to be fair, was excellently styled in terms of the genre (including the only full frontal male nudity I've seen at a heat).

So much potential, but ultimately, incoherent.

5/10


BEDSTUY
Lovers On The Run
I got the sense that Bedstuy might be a one-person team, based on the very singular credits at the end, and if so, it's certainly one very talented individual.

After we got through what seemed like eight individual team intro screens(!) we were told the animated story of Charlie Flowers and [???] Raspberry (forgive me, I forget her first name). The characters were utterly minimal (essentially coloured boxes with emoticon-style faces) but the film was packed full of heart.

I once watched a behind-the-scenes of Monsters Inc where the animators talked about the challenge of making a character with one big eyeball visually engaging, and I was reminded of that watching this film. The little coloured boxes evoked more empathy than most of the other characters we met throughout the heat, and I think that's a very impressive feat.

A simple, effective and ultimately successful film.

8/10


Black Banner Media
Mistaken Identity
I have to confess, I have a liking for lo-fi films, and whilst this Mistaken Identity film wasn't winning any production awards, it was lots of fun.

The premise was that of two pizza delivery men who turn up at the wrong house and are mistaken for strippers by the hen's party going on there. The pair are cleverly mismatched; one's a boorish oaf, keen to keep up the masquerade, and the other's the shy young apprentice with quite justified misgivings about the situation they've found themselves in.

It was rough-edged and silly, and lots of fun. I found it to be exactly what I look for in a 48HOURS film. This got my number 2 vote (after our own film, of course).

7/10


Blackhawk9
Mystery
Mmm, the Mystery genre... sounds fun, but is it a poisoned chalice? It's such a nebulous genre that some teams can struggle with it, which is perhaps what happened with Blackhawk9.

It seems to me that in their hearts, they wanted to make an action film. It was certainly engaging at the beginning, where a man in a carpark takes a couple hostage before murdering one senselessly. However, when the surviving victim returns to wreak justice, it's as if someone said "Oh, hey -- this is meant to be mystery!" and the film does a massive pivot. The characters seem like they could be endearing, but the confusion of plot doesn't give us a a chance.

Nice production values, and decent acting chops, I thought, but it does feel like the Mystery genre has claimed another victim here.

5/10

MORE REVIEWS TO FOLLOW IN NEXT COMMENT

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

REVIEWS: Heat 2, Auckland

Until the review site is up and running for 2016, please feel free to create a review thread and post your reviews in it. I know that by the end of the week I won't be able to remember ANY of the films I saw (including ours). This thread is for Heat 2, Auckland.

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Which genre did you wish you got?

The one I would've liked least is Rom Com, for two reasons:

1. I hate Rom Coms. HATE 'em.
2. We've managed to get it TWICE already

If we'd gotten it this year, I think I'd have submitted a film of two dogs humping with a five-minute laugh track.

LUCKILY, we got Dystopian, which was pretty awesome.

I would've been fine with Mystery, or many of the others. Punk would've been a struggle, I think, simply because I anticipate many of the same elements will keep cropping up. Hard to differentiate yourself, IMO.

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

AUCKLAND FINAL 2011 - AWARDS

I have seen the Auckland finalists of eight years worth of this competition (attended said finals six of those eight times) and I think:

-- overall, the best calibre ever (not a low point in the night)
-- holy shit the quality of the projection and sound was kickass

Loved everyone's films, and roundly agree with the selection of the winner. Pickle Thugs, Grand Cheval and Lens Flare probably my personal favourites on the night, but overall absolutely magnificent. Thanks to the judges for deeming us fit to be up there with them!

Would like to add that I believe Slurpedo *nailed* what a Fad Movie is, just as Haynes/Ow nailed what a road movie should be. *golf clap*

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Auckland City Finalists discussion?

in reply to Joseph Moore:

Wasn't as sold on entries by Bald Faced Cheek (full dislosure, am a big PC stickler/prude) - I thought their film was a little heavy on the deaf-guy impersonation and a little light on story. Like 20% of the film was the joke outro. That being said it got a massive reaction and had my favourite Bobby Young I saw.

Hey Joseph, thanks for your comment -- and appreciate the PC stickler disclosure.

I think we were definitely a little lighter on story this year than we have been in the past, but I also posit that having to contend with the Musical genre *heavily* contributes to that. Having to write music and lyrics (for us, at least) meant we ended up with a series of plot waypoints rather than our more traditional story arc.

To (hopefully?) illustrate, "Lease" (the national winner by Lense Flare) is essentially "Some flatmates have their rent put up. They interview some applicants and select one". But it's still awesome, even if there's not a lot of 'story'; the characters are packed full of flavour -- something we attempted to achieve with 'Choir In The Blood'.

I would *like* to think we still tell a story, though there are definitely meta-elements to it (the 'outro' as such is our way of riffing on "A musical, you say? Um -- let's just rhyme shit that we can see!", and our selection of a deaf protagonist was more about "How anathema can we get? A deaf guy as a singer?" *rather* than "How offensive can we be?")

That said, I concur that our use of prop was nothing but 100% pure offense... ;-)

Regardless though, I assure you that your commentary on our film is appreciated and encouraged (especially managing to snag your favourite Bobby Young!) and as a big fan of "Life In The Bus Lane" I am honoured to receive it!

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Post Your Films in The Screening Room. And also in here.

I am only 2:01 in and am already compelled to comment on how beautifully shot this is, Nick!

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Congratulations, city finalists

One of the best feelings in the entire world is being at V48HOURS Ground Zero when that 10... 9... 8... starts up just before the Sunday night deadline. Knowing that everyone in that room is also exhausted but buzzing -- and a member of a creative fraternity like no other -- is like an enema of endorphins, adrenaline and cayenne pepper.

And up there with that feeling is being selected as a regional finalist. To be judged and found meritorious by a tribunal whose eyes and senses have been made bleary and irascible by a litany of bad jokes and bare arses, a butcher's cold-room of raw meat and fake blood, and enough scatological asides to pen an encyclopedia on rectal abnormalities, is an achievement indeed.

Our team is, incredibly, fortunate enough to be walking around with chests puffed out, unable to pass a mirror without making gun-fingers and shouting "Who's the man? YOU da man!", so on behalf of the BFC tribe, I'd like to say *THANK YOU* to the Auckland judges for making a bunch of juvenile equal-opportunity-offenders feel on top of the world.

To the other regional finalists: mad propz. See you at Sky City Theatre!

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo

septicman
From: Auckland
Since: Apr 2011
Posts: 24

Reviewerds

in reply to Nick Burridge:

Will have to give you a call next time we're pitching on Drupal work! :-D

BALD FACED CHEEK
Demystifying priapism to V48HOURS audiences for eleven long years

'16: Dystension
'13: Chums
'12: Love[sic]
'11: Choir in the Blood
'10: Brown Means Earth
'09: The Green Menace
'08: Deep Heat
'07: Gun Man
'06: The Salvation of Patrick Carrots
'05: Touch of Spanner
'04: King of Bongo