Second Time Lucky...?

This is a great interpretation of the 'Survival' genre, a first-date scenario you desperately want to pull the parachute cord on. The male lead was a touch wooden on his line deliveries, but did a very good job selling the agony through his expressions and movements. The female lead was superb, busting out that all-in energy the script demanded. That on-point cut to her laughing and the end facial expression cracked me up. The flashback moment felt like a joke that was missing a punchline, putting a bump in the pacing (though it worked to fit in the Wilhelm Scream). The part with Susan mentioning that she was on a date didn't really add anything either. These are things that could either be reworked or sidelined to focus more on putting this guy through dating hell and him trying desperately to prolong his suffering. I would have liked different methods of escape explored - as it stands, he kinda goes back and forth from cafe to bathroom. But for what you had, there were some really cool editing and camera tricks used to heighten the tension. I especially like the quick-cutting between close-up of the watch and close-up of her face smashing more food into her mouth. I reckon you could exploit that tension further if you gave the audience an idea of WHEN he was able to leave and turning the pressure up the minutes before he's "allowed" to leave. The biggest thing holding this short back is the production (lighting, sound, etc), but there's nothing that can be done about that - we aren't all studio teams. Hopefully, in the future, you'll have access to that high-end equipment or someone will dump a buttload of money for you to hire it. I'd love to see what your team comes up with in the future.